What I would have said...

Recently Conversations Journal solicited blog entries for their September theme honoring Dallas Willard.  They invited those of us who had had him as an instructor to submit our reflections.  I'd encourage you to take a look; there's great stuff there. 

Meanwhile, my entry didn't make the cut.  Now that I've read their blog a bit more, I get it.  My style's less refined than what they tend to post.  I'm certainly capable of something more academic, but I do kinda like what I wrote even if it didn't fit their blog.  

And so, I post it here :-)

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Dallas Willard told me I should let my 13-year-old daughter get her ears double-pierced.  Actually, should is the wrong word.  It would be all right to allow the double piercing.

We were at the Saint Malo Retreat Center in the Rockies just before lunchtime.  People were filtering into the great room outside the dining area and I noticed Dallas sitting alone, looking calmly reflective and approachable.  Though I feel a bit star struck in his presence, despite his warm hospitality, I decided to mention something from his morning lectures.

“Stop trying to get people to do things,” he’d said.  I had scribbled it down, marked it with a big star and marveled. 

Much of my life and ministry have involved trying to get people to do things.  Trying to get teenagers to come to events or camp or small group Bible studies.  Trying to get adults to volunteer time and money, room and board, even prayers to important causes.  Trying to get people to show up on time.  Even trying to get people to live the with-God life.

I can’t tell you how refreshing it was to hear Dallas say to stop that.  Even as I write this, I feel my shoulders relax, my breathing deepen. 

This doesn’t mean not to invite them to something larger, better, deeper.  It doesn’t even mean not to encourage them toward better things.  Rather, it is what it sounds like: stop trying to get them to do.  Loosen the grip.  Invite.  Encourage.  Give space.  Above all, pray.

And this is what I bumblingly discussed with Dallas that afternoon in the Saint Malo great room. 

Then feeling emboldened, I decided to also mention my phone conversation with my daughter the previous evening.  As we were hanging up, she’d said, “Tell Dallas Willard he rocks,” and then, “Ask him if I should get my ears double-pierced.” 

She’d been campaigning for extra ear-piercings for some time and I confess, I’d been stalling.  Goodness knows, she could ask for worse, but thirteen seemed a bit young for such things.

So, I asked Dallas her very question.  He chuckled in his warmly amused way.  He paused, smiled and said, “Well, I think that would be all right.”

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 Where is God asking you to loosen your grip on people or outcomes?  What would it look like and feel like to trust God with these things?